Pastoral Conversation at its Best
Posted by David J. Wood on Monday, November 24, 2008
I had a very interesting conversation with a group of younger pastors—all of whom where in their first years of ministry in local congregations. We were talking about the things they are still trying to figure out about the pastoral life. One of the principal issues they raised had to do with how they spend their time. What was so interesting about this part of the conversation is the direction it did NOT go in. They did not fall all over themselves talking about how busy they were. They did not go on about not realizing how much time it takes to do this job. This was not because these folks were not busy, earnest, or deeply dedicated to their ministries. Quite the contrary.
What they acknowledged in the course of our conversation, albeit reluctantly, was how much “free” time they have on their hands. By “free time” they did not mean they were without something to do. Rather, they were describing the experience of being free to choose what they were going to do without anyone demanding that they must do so and so. It was part and parcel of the aloneness that is so much a part of the everyday life of a pastor—especially in “solo” pastor congregations. The went on to acknowledge that when they did do what they determined needed to be done, it was more often than not unclear if they had done anything worthwhile. They all agreed that one of the chief tendencies in dealing with this lack of clarity and “freedom” was to overcompensate by “working” overtime.
This was the first conversation I have been in with a group of pastors where the burden of the freedom and the reality of aloneness that constitutes the architecture of everyday life in pastoral ministry was freely acknowledged and talked about openly.
This interaction reminded me why there needs to be much more conversation about self-regulation and self-generation when it comes to ordering one’s life and work as a pastor. Furthermore, it was a reminder why pastors talking together truthfully and transparently is so crucial to the cultivation of excellence in ministry.
This is EXACTLY how I’m feeling right now at 10:40pm. I came to work at the office after supper to “make up” for the “free time” I had earlier today.
As we well know, from the time we wake up in the morning and until we turn the lights out, we live and breathe the pastoral life. Not a moment goes by when I am not thinking about some person or circumstance in need of healing, forgiveness, and peace. A pastor is called to speak a word to these circumstances, and we often feel very alone in doing this. After all, that’s the “pastor’s job.”
When I was home at Thanksgiving, I found myself jealous in wishing that my dad was a layperson in my congregation. His pastor asked him to hold him accountable and help him prioritize. I would welcome someone in my own congregation who would do the same. Here were the questions he put to his pastor:
a. What can only you as a pastor do that no one else can?
b. What things do you do that someone else could do, but you would rather do yourself? Why?
c. What things do you want to do but don’t have the time?
d. What of “b” could be let go to do “c”?
It’s good that pastors can talk open and transparently to one another, but it’s even more important that pastors could talk open and transparently with those in the congregation with whom they share ministry.
A paradox: A pastor’s life is so hidden, yet also so public. A pastor is asked to be “omnipresent” in the life of the congregation, but very few lay people seem uninterested in how a pastor spends his or her time (unless, of course, it’s for their own personal benefit.)
I am convinced that we as pastors constantly need to talking about what we do and why we do it. We have a calling, to be sure, that can be clearly defined: preacher, teacher, and petitioner-in-chief. But we are also an administrator, meaning that we help to enable that all the ministries are getting done. For that to be clearly defined, we need our congregation’s input.
Posted by on 12/02 at 06:57 PM